Going from On-Campus to Online: My journey as a fully-remote disabled graduate student during a global pandemic.
Hi, my name’s Jon and I’m a full-time graduate student earning an M.S. in Advertising from Boston University’s College of Communication. While I’ve been studying at BU for over a year now, I’m not just a graduate student; I’m a fiancé, cat dad, and a survivor of Congenital Heart Disease. 2020’s been a serious challenge for my small four-member family. Our way of life has changed like never before as a result of both the coronavirus pandemic and my heart disease.
Out of an abundance of caution my soon-to-be wife, Kristen, and I pushed our wedding to 2021. We haven’t stepped foot in a grocery store since March. Our hangouts with friends and family are predominantly all remote. Worst of all, I’m dealing with the mental calamity of an existential threat which looms day-over-day – a deeply-rooted survival mode becoming increasingly harder to shake.
With that, we’ve been incredibly blessed. We haven’t lost any loved ones to the virus nor have we contradicted it thus far. Kristen works from home and I, via BU’s Learn from-Anywhere (LfA) policy, am fully remote. Our groceries and essentials are delivered to our doorstep. We live in a two-bedroom apartment just outside of Boston and visit the nearby parks for some much-needed fresh air.
For me, 2020 has been broken-up into three chapters: The Beginning, The Middle, and The Not-So-End.
The Beginning
For me, the coronavirus pandemic started during 2020’s Spring break. In as little as one week, the BU community was flipped completely upside down. As both a graduate student and Teacher Assistant to a 70+ class, I witnessed the madness firsthand. When the break ended, students were instructed by the university to vacate the campus all together. A dramatic but essential step to keep everyone safe. Being a commuter, it was impossible to comprehend the magnitude of boxing-up your life for an unknown period of time. While most of the undergraduate students returned to campus and hastily collected their belongings to move off-campus, I slipped quietly back to my apartment 14-miles away.
Outside of school, the virus played my mind. My life’s motto is, “never give up, never surrender.” Within my 28 years, I’ve endured eight open heart surgeries, 16 cardiac surgeries, two pacemakers and more ambulance rides then there are hairs on your head. All my life I lived in a quasi-survival mode and only in my late teens did I start to actually ‘live.’ This fear of potential death was nothing new but a managed fear. As the coronavirus emerged, it presented a completely new and wildly unmanaged fear of potential death – throwing me back into a full-on survival mode. With that, I now needed to balance the coronavirus on top of my pre-existing health problems, family’s health and wellbeing, and graduate school.
After Spring break, BU quickly and effectively transitioned nearly all 30,000+ students fully remote to an online education supported by Zoom and Blackboard. All my professors started us off by adjusting the schedules to accommodate for the new learning environment. While it was a difficult start, my four classes acted as an escape from the stresses of the real-world and a time to reconnect with friends. In a way, by slowing down the extreme pace of graduate life, it allowed me to focus on myself.
The Middle
My summer didn’t go as planned and my highly anticipated internship was cancelled. So, I shifted strategies and enrolled in an online certificate program at MIT Sloan School of Management. While the move was to help advance my resume, it truly helped fill the mental void and, once again, shifted my focus away from the real world stress.
The virus still occupied a large portion of my mind. I felt blessed to have not been infected and knew the longer I went without an infection the better treatments and therapeutics would get. Kristen and I continued to steer clear of public settings but we did journey beyond our Spring-time comfort zone. We hiked, visited two of our closest friends (fully-masked and socially distant outside), started eating take out food, and soaked up as much sun as possible. I read as many books as possible and, at a time, averaged three walks a day. My mind was still stuck in a survival mode but enjoyed the respite and looked forward to my final semester.
Over the summer BU launched an aggressive plan to safely bring students and faculty back on campus for Fall 2020. Part of the plan was to allow people to Learn-From-Anywhere (LFA) meaning you could either go fully-remote or a hybrid of both in-person and remote. To make this happen, BU launched campus wide testing for everyone who stepped foot on campus. I’m extremely proud of BU’s policy and aggressive approach to fighting the virus. The fact I could get tested was a huge relief. With that, I knew the decision of going on-campus awaited me at the end of the summer.
The Not-So-End 2020
At the end of summer, I decided to remain fully remote due to the severity of my heart disease even though all the necessary precautions were in place. While BU established a rigorous plan to combat the disease, I wanted to protect myself as much as possible. I planned to revisit my LfA status mid-semester.
As Fall started, so did a new chapter of the U.S.’s fight against the coronavirus. Colder weather brought people indoors which led to increased infections. Our summer tans began to fade as we hurdled into a bleak Winter. Kristen and I agreed to completely scale back all our public excursions. In an attempt to educate myself and quell my anxieties, I consumed as much information as possible about both the virus and the vaccines but it only fueled my concerns. My mindset shifted from optimism to pessimism as the semester started. I feared I wouldn’t be able to focus exclusively on schoolwork and that my grades would slip, or worse I’d flunk out.
Fall 2020 was all online, unlike the Spring 2020 semester which we spent only a quarter of the time online and had ample time getting to know my professors and peers in-person. The semester turned out to be much more difficult than my previous semesters. I often felt isolated and out-of-touch from classmates, friends, and family. My schoolwork felt intangible – floating around in a digital nebulous.
As the semester dragged on, I began to fully commit myself to schoolwork. I consumed less news and worked with a counselor to focus on what mattered most, the present. My life’s motto of, “never give up, never surrender,” mattered now more than ever. Failure was not an option, especially not when I was months away from accomplishing one of the proudest personal achievements of my life – earning a master’s degree from a prestigious university. In the end, with the support of my family, friends, and life-long doctors, I successfully pulled myself up from the bootstraps. Today, we are four days out from the last day of classes here at Boston University.
Moving Forward Together
It’s December and the U.S is 10 months into the pandemic. We’ve learned a lot on a collective and individual level. Boston University established itself as a leader in the forefront to fight this terrible disease. While nothing is perfect, BU’s approach is very close. They’ve taken dramatic, and at times controversial, steps to protect and safeguard their community. I’m so very inspired by my peer’s courage during such trying times. Together, we’re managing to lift each other up and endure some of the darkest times in the modern era. I’m truly hopeful for the current and future Boston University students!
